Hippy spends 6 months and $11,000 finding himself; discovers that he is a “cliche c*#t.”

hippie-nz

19 year old Jonty Cockburn has spent the past 6 months traveling the world and visiting some of the world’s most spiritual places, only to realise that he is a boring, hypocritical, “clichéd c*#t” he says.

Cockburn’s expensive round-the-world trip has taken him through countries such as Goa, Mongolia, Peru, and Burma, but it wasn’t until New Zealand that he found himself.

Cockburn spoke about the realisation and how it overcame him as he sat around a drum circle at an organic chickpea farm in New Zealand’s North Island.

What triggered Cockburn, was when he realised that he was surrounded by 8 near-identical looking white, hair tied into a bun, poncho-wearing, bucket-hat sporting, fire-poi spinning, terribly tattooed hippies.

He realised then that he had spent most of his life judging others for being “too mainstream,” and for “not caring enough about the world.” Cockburn has lost many friends arguing over basic things such as the price of milk and how TV is controlling the population, but now he realises that he can only control his own life and he should mind his own business.

Cockburns Facebook profile lists his interests as ‘legalisation, hacky-sack [and]… psytrance’, but Cockburn now tells has that he intends to cut his dreadlocks off, throw away his propagator and burn his embarrassing collection of tye-dye t-shirts.

“I thought I was an individual snowflake, but then I realised that actually, all snow looks the same to the naked human eye.”  Cockburn went on to say that he doesn’t “want to sit around anymore talking about how we’re going to change the world with a revolution, only to then consume an entire bag of Cool Original Doritos, watch re-runs of Blackadder, and then fall asleep.”

“I want to actually do something worthwhile with my life instead.”

Deep stuff, thanks Jonty.

Comment below or discuss in the community

Comments

  • Sergey Dmitriev

    Goa is a country? Why not a planet?)))

  • Leonid Avsl

    this photo is from stock, not real Jonty Cockburn

  • Pakvi Roti

    WTF is it with these man buns? Every time I see one, I want whip my Gerber switchblade and cut it off their head. Pansies!

    • Julie Boyce

      Man buns are used to get long hair out of the way….love longhaired men mmm mmmm 🙂

      • Pakvi Roti

        So…you’re a fag hag then?

    • Ryan Turner

      “Man buns” are actually traditional in my culture and have been sporting them for centuries so yeah cut your own hair off and leave ours alone please and thank you =)

  • Contract Wars

    Hippy just a liberal teenager skum. Alcoholics and drug addicts.

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