How to speak like a true Kiwi

tin of cocoa cocoa car door
tin of cocoa cocoa car door

Tin of Cocoa, Tin of Cocoa, Car Door!

tin of cocoa cocoa car door

Chur bro, you’re in New Zealand now! Foreigners are forgiven for asking if Kiwi’s are speaking english, or some new mixed up language?

Kiwi’s are guilty of murdering the English language by merging and switching vowels and ending every sentence like they’re asking a question. It’s as if we are so unsure of ourselves that we can be making a statement and asking you a question at the same time.

We’ve put together this list just for you. If you need any help understanding it, feel free to ask a local, but then even still you may not get it.

  • Puka ru ow – Not working bro
  • Rangi – That’s farked
  • Ripper – Terrific or fantastic
  • Tin (Ten) One more than nine
  • Bin (Ben) Your mate from down the way
  • Dick (Deck) A wooden platform outside a house. Usually enjoyed in the summertime
  • Sucks (Six) Comes before seven
  • Chups – Chips
  • Why-Kick-a-Moo-Cow – A Small seaside town
  • Fuck-a-Papa – A Ski field in the middle of the North Island
  • Cud (Kid) A child or goat
  • Beer (Nude) Not clothed or covered
  • Beer – A large mammal often found in forests
  • Beer – A cold beverage enjoyed in the summer-time
  • Really (Really?) Something that hardly ever happens; a fine example of kiwis asking a question; or, is it a question?
  • Stuck (Stick) A thin piece of wood found on a tree
  • Pig (Peg) Used to hang up wet washing
  • Pig (Police) Used to clean up South Auckland
  • Rung (Ring) A piece of jewelry worn on a finger.
  • Bug (Big) Large or considerable size
  • Beard (Bed) Where you go to sleep
  • Hid (Hood) Rests on top of your neck
  • Ear (Air) What we breathe
  • Hoe-Racky-Golf – A coastal area on the North Island
  • Cheer (Chair) Something to sit on, often round a table
  • Chur (Cheers) Thanks buddie
  • Fuck-a-tah-nee: A town in the Bay of Plenty region
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Have we missed any? Let us know in the comments below.