5 things that will happen now that Bill English is the Prime Minister

bill english
bill english

Congrats Bill English, New Zealand looks forward to your leadership.


Maybe because Bill English is so damn boring, it will be good for NZ. We have had many years of entertainment from our previous leader, and now we have to face reality.

English will do nothing new and won’t say nothing controversial, not even a pony tail will be pulled.

Bill is well known for sending people to sleep when he talks, he won’t need to be bullet proof because the opposition won’t be able to find any bullets.

English’s supporters say that he has no skeletons, and the media will have nothing to expose in order to make the 2017 election exciting. He will do nothing, say nothing and therefore upset no one.

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To make a little excitement we tried to find something on him, but we were unable to find anything interesting. Instead we put together the top 5 benefits from his leadership.

  1. Nothing – Somehow we are in control of our own destiny.
  2. National are out at the next election – Come on, couldn’t they have chosen a more charismatic leader?
  3. Sleep quicker – We have something new to listen to when we are having trouble sleeping.
  4. Become little Australia – With a lack of foresight, more mediocre politics, and now we have the country’s most boring person as our leader, we will simply copy everything Australia does – Therefore becoming a little America.
  5. Stewart Island becomes an independent state – After years of neglect and since the country will be fast asleep, Stewart Island will leave the rest of NZ and become an independent state. Unfortunately we have nothing funny to say about Stewart Island because the entire country forgot the place existed till now, just like Bill.